What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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Fags are gay.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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Racial Equality.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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