There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

What does 1+1 equal? 2

Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

It’s dead.

Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...