Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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banana

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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