"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

thumb_up thumb_down +169

A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

thumb_up thumb_down +131

why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +55

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -5

JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops