Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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400 asian people walked in a bar

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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