what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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