Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops