Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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obamas trench

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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