Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -87

What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops