my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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what sucks? things that suck

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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