What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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