A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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69

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I'm hungry.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops