What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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