What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

Dont look at me.

How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

Jews...

Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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