A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

thumb_up thumb_down +139

Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

thumb_up thumb_down +27

400 asian people walked in a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

i like cats

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

thumb_up thumb_down +9

4 is half the number 8 is.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops