why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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Why Do Black Men Like Koolaid Because its red

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Miley Cyrus.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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The Bible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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