In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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PATHETIC

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Yes.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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