When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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