When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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