when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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The Olympics

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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So you there Red?

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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You

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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