A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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So you there Red?

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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