If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

thumb_up thumb_down +61

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

4 is half the number 8 is.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jews...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -181

A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

thumb_up thumb_down +138

Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops