A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

what sucks? things that suck

Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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