Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

thumb_up thumb_down +1

After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

Mexicans are like waffles

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what do you call a cow? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

thumb_up thumb_down

A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

thumb_up thumb_down +111

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops