Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

The Olympics

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...