Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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America

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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Women's Rights.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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