What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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A man buys free health care...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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