What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -169

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

thumb_up thumb_down +198

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +190

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

385

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops