Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops