What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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call of duty world at war

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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