when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

Justin Bieber

Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

I have no soul so I must consume yours

What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

170

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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