Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

thumb_up thumb_down +44

An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I have no soul so I must consume yours

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

George Bush.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

sexual intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

thumb_up thumb_down -108

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -166

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops