Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Are you a tree? No.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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PATHETIC

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Fat people.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops