A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

The Bible

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

There once was a man from Nantucket.

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

how long has dibey got left like :)

boobs

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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