What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +31

69

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

PENIS THAT IS ALL!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have no soul so I must consume yours

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops