What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -169

hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

thumb_up thumb_down +118

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +197

Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

thumb_up thumb_down +131

Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sonic

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops