A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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Justin Bieber

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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SNAPPLE!

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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whats forever alone me

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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