Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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