Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How are you this morning?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

thumb_up thumb_down +119

A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

thumb_up thumb_down +79

What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Har har hey

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how long has dibey got left like :)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops