A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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Sonic

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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if you read this you are gay

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How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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