What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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