Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

thumb_up thumb_down +24

So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

68

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

thumb_up thumb_down -22

you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

thumb_up thumb_down +135

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops