- Anti Joke

What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

how long has dibey got left like :)

???????????? WTF?

they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

why did the boy fall down? he was shot

The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops