Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops