How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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Knock Knock Come in!

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

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Fat people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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