How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops