Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

thumb_up thumb_down -174

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what sucks? things that suck

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

one day a grape was in the sun raisin

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +166

What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops