What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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385

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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