Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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69

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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Sheesh people! Stop insulting my last comment! Do not GO into my comment section, I do not WANT YOU to keep thumbing up those that call me pedo. Moral: Norway... you gonna call us all pedophiles? Please... besides I prefer them over nineteen... the downside is that they often got a couple of kids already at that age... Sigh...

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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