How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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