9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Are you a tree? No.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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