"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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boobs

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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