Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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A man walks into a pole.

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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banana

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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