Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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400 asian people walked in a bar

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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