Apple.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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