"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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