When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

A baby seal walked into a club.

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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