What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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Bob fell off his roof.

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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