How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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