How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops