So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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