Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

thumb_up thumb_down -18

sexual intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Dont look at me.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

69

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -191

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops