What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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what sucks? things that suck

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Jews...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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