How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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