Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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