Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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