When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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