knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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A woman's opinion

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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You copy and paster!

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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