Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Mexicans are like waffles

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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