Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Apple.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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