I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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