How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

What never seems to get old? AIDS.

What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

A man walks into a pole.

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

Apple.

Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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