This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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What does 1+1 equal? 2

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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A man walks into a pole.

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops