Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

thumb_up thumb_down +71

What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Surprise mother father (A+)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

thumb_up thumb_down -196

I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops